Monday, May 16, 2011

Feeling Me

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So the last time I participated in Mental Health Monday, I talked about my anxiety.

This past week I haven’t taken my medicine, mainly because I forgot. I had renewed my prescription, but it never made it to the bathroom, so I didn’t remember to take it while getting ready for work.

I haven’t had any anxiety problems in a long time so I didn’t think not taking it would matter. Then I started feeling weird about Thursday. I was waking up feeling exhausted. Saturday, all I wanted to do was sleep. I went to the gym on Thursday, but didn’t really do much. I started on a machine and after a couple of minutes didn’t want to do it. So I went to another machine, after a couple of minutes, was sick of it. So I decided to do weights, did a couple exercises in that and didn’t feel like continuing. So I decided to get on a stationary bike and read while waiting for Yoga. After a couple of minutes was sick of that and decided to go home instead.

My fiancĂ© made a comment that I deemed depressed. I didn’t feel depressed just tired. Though, it did prevent me from doing things I like to do, like working out and yoga. So I took my medicine and looked up withdrawal symptoms online, and sure enough they matched. After resting for a little bit, I started to feel better and like myself again.

I’m terrified of becoming addicted to anything. In college I was on Lexapro for a while then my friend psyched me out about becoming addicted to it I stopped taking it.  These withdrawal symptoms scare me, I don’t want to have to be on medication forever. I will talk to my doctor about it at my next appointment.

It’s like my professor once said, “I wouldn’t want to be addicted to something I have to have first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed.” Now, he was talking about cigarettes, but that’s how I feel about anything. I never want to be dependent on a substance. Anytime I think I might be, I cut myself off from it.

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2 comments:

shah said...

Most drugs used to treat mental health issues are NOT addictive. Go to you docs and request that he reduce your dosage gradually and eventually you will be off them - give it a while and see if your symptoms return. If they do and they're too much to handle, then you may need more time on your meds. NEVER attempt to stop taking medication yourself. Just because they are NOT addictive, they have a powerful effect on the brain chemistry which needs professional managing by those who are trained to so (although you should always take an active interest and control of these meds yourself too).

I know how you feel re not liking the idea of being medicated forever - I realise I probably will. I'm scared to return to my psychosis if I stop taking mine - but there is hope for many. My neice has been medication free for a year now - and she has bipolar disorder. She has a very close relationship with her doctor and is in a very stable home/life however. These factor help enormously.

Good luck. If you need any help or support please pop back to wordsinsync.blospot.com or email me at shahwharton@gmail.com and I'll help in any way I can.

Shah. X

BEadECLECTIC said...

I feel the same way, and those meds can have deadly withdrawal (sometimes, literally).

It sounds like you have situational anxiety, or at least anxiety that doesn't get too out of control. Have you tried any Chinese Medicine? Yoga definitely helps, too. :)